In today's post I wanted to touch on something I think I take very seriously in my life and work to influence many other teenage girls my age through day-to-day interactions and this blog too. It's the topic of under-eating and it's something my body has struggled through in my past which is why I find it so worrying to watch other girls go through the similar struggles I experienced.
There was a time when I lost so much weight. When I was cold every second of every day. When my natural cycles were stuffed up and I suffered from insomnia- what I felt to be the most debilitating result of not eating enough. When I would come home from school and collapse onto the couch ready for a nap. When I couldn't even go on a walk with my mum and the dog.
And that was a time I never, ever, EVER want to go back to. So when I see the girls around my school, tossing their sandwiches in the bin, or shivering under two jackets on a sunny day, or falling in and out of concentration... I'm sick to my stomach.
But this post isn't about those girls. This post isn't a commanding, preaching post telling you all to eat enough fro your bodies, ensuring you are getting enough kilojoules/ calories to fuel your day-to-day life, because I've already done that. I have quite a collection of posts now regarding eating to fuel your body. So no, that's not why I'm here today. Today I want to talk about my concern that I might be slipping back into bad habits.
You see, it's so easy to let your mind float into disordered unhealthy thoughts when a thought like; 'If I don't add in a chickpea patty I will eat a heck of a lot less.' pops into your head and you simply prep yourself a salad simply made of veggies (no protein or fats). And this happened to me the other day when I chopped up some raw veg to bring to school and then added in a few lentils and called it lunch. I was starving by the time I got home.
This was also the day I had early-morning cross-country training which involved re-running the course and then doing continuous sprint and recovery drills (boy it was tough!). This was also the day when my body needed more fuel and i gave it less? Why did I feel that small sense of accomplishment? It's moments like this that I can 100% relate to those going through an eating disorder or those who regularly suffer from disordered thoughts. As soon as you let one little unhealthy thought take hold of your mind, it's so easy to slip entirely off the rails.
And then on the other hand, the busyness of my schedule, combined with the stress of school and amount of homework I had ahead of me for the weekend left me with approximately 0% energy or creativity to come up with anything for dinner, so after my merger salad at lunch, this is what my dinner turned out to be:
I'm sure many people would eat this amount of food for dinner, but for me this is definitely not enough to fuel my body. I need to eat probably double this and yet all i made myself for dinner was 2 wholemeal crumpets topped with vegemite, avocado and poached eggs with a side of baked beans.
In short? Friday I was under-eating and the take-away message for me from this day was that i can do it both consciously and unconsciously. I both choose to undercut and I also end up underrating as a result of not being bothered to come up with anything else.
It was after this dinner when I noticed for the first time that day (when I actually took a minute out of my day to simply be present) that I felt the hunger my body was crying out to signal to be fed. So I took action. I knew I needed to up my protein so poured myself a big glass of cold soy milk and enjoyed a few squares of dark chocolate. I still had not eaten nearly enough to fuel that active day for me but it was important for me to recognise this and take action, something I didn't do a few years back and was so quickly and easily taken over by unhealthy under-eating.
This Instagram probably helped me with the wake-up call :)
This morning I woke up just feeling empty. I took an easy morning (your body needs rest too!!) and enjoyed this delicious HUGE Steph-sized brekky:
A big not-so-green-purple green smoothie with a side of freshly baked, warm, straight-from-the-oven granola!
I also felt a heck of a lot better with a substantial and nutritious and filling and awesome amount of food in my belly! :D
This is a wake-up call for me (and maybe one for you too) Steph- do not fall back into unhealthy, disordered thoughts and remember to eat. EAT. Eat enough because your body needs a lot of fuel to prosper!
What about you?
Have you ever under-eaten? Conciously/ unconsciously?
Favourite quick throw-together dinner?
Favourite meal to up the fuel into your body?!
I hope you all have an awesome, awesome day, smile lots and EAT SOMETHING DELICIOUS!! TRULY! Bye for now friendly friends!! :D